I was a bad girl this year...

... less than 10 posts for the year??? Good Lord.



I can't put the blame on anyone else but me. I guess I've kept myself really busy. I've been going to visit my new neice Hannah (who is now almost 5 months old!!!), I've raised over $1,300 and completed a 75 mile bike tour for MS research, I've gone scubadiving and skydiving... And now it's the holidays.



Holy crap - where has the time gone? I can remember several times this year thinking, "Wow, it's only (insert any month here). When will it be time for Thanksgiving and Christmas?" The answer:

Soon.

I just wanted to log on and apologize for my slothiness (not that anyone reads this - who wants to check into a blog that's only updated once every 6 months?)... I'll give it my best to post again BEFORE the end of the year!

Asshat Dmitri and His Asshat Voicemail

I don't know if you have heard about this yet, but I got this link from my sister...

http://www.misanthropytoday.com/2008/06/27/olga-and-dmitri-funny-voicemail/

What a TOOL!! I hope this dude is alone for a LONG LONG time. He's just SO busy that he can't take the time to "get to know" someone. Forget romance with this one ladies. It would definitely inconvenience this jerk to leave you little love notes around the house - much less, remember your birthday!!

Go find yourself a pretty hooker, Dmitri.

Le Tour 2008

Can someone help me understand why the Tour de France organizers are so stupid? I'm actually thinking that they are not humans but a couple of banana-less chimps. I am SO UPSET that they are not letting Team Astana participate in this year's Tour. Such a mistake!! The reason they are not invited back is because last year's team leader and Tour leader, Alexander Vinokourov, was busted for blood doping. I can understand not allowing HIM back - EVER. But to bar the team from participating this year?

Check this out:

• The team isn't even the same!! Not only did they boot Vinokourov & the management, they hired Johan Bruyneel - the former direteur sportif of the Lance Armstrong's Team Discovery!!
• Bruyneel wanted to start fresh, so he hired a number of former Discovery riders including Alberto Contador (2008 Tour de France winner) and Levi Leipheimer (2008 Tour de France 3rd place).
• Bruyneel adopted anti-doping measurements that were first used by CSC's team in 2007 (It's actually a very very strict system).

Le Tour says that they won't invite Astana because of the team's links to "Operación Puerto" (ummm, Vinokourov???) and involvement in the 2007 Tour doping scandals (again, wasn't that Vinokourov???).

Okay so since the whole reason for the all the hubbub is gone along with the higher-ups, I'm not following their reasoning as to why the 2008 team is banned.

I'd like to say that I will be boycotting this year's coverage of Le Tour... but who in the world would not watch when George Hincapie has a chance to do something AMAZING!!!!

GO BIG GEORGE!!!!!

NO REGRETS!!

I was so tired that I almost didn't go to this show, but man, am I glad I changed my mind about going... HELMET was awesome!!!

Now, I know that Helmet isn't a well-known band by today's music listeners. But man, do they still have it. I first saw them on the campus of Virginia Tech in 1992/1993. They opened for Faith No More (an abomination) - the majority of people who attended were there for Helmet. I always loved their lyrics and unique sound. It was heavy but a little experimental - and I loved any new music with a twist or quirk that separated them from the rest.

I remember being excited. I remember wondering why the guitarist didn't turn around and face the crowd. I remember being lifted yet annoyed when they stopped playing. And I remember being fully let down by Faith No More.

All these great memories pulled me back to see them over a week ago at Volume 11 in Raleigh, NC. The show was incredible! And even though there's only one original member in the band - the songs ROCKED! And even better - Page Hamilton is actually a pretty nice guy. The venue wasn't huge, but is really neat - only metal groups are invited to play - and after the show, the guys shook hands and talked with anyone who stayed behind. Just regular ordinary "Joes" who happen to be fantastic musicians.

The only time I was disappointed was when I got to work the next day and started to talk about the show to the new girl - who is a HUGE Tool fan...

... and she did not know who they were!!!

Does this make me old?? Dear God - knowing who Helmet is actually dates me? That one line from her mouth actually hit me in the face like a ton of college yearbooks. That said - I've figured out what you young-uns are missing from your lives. It's called Helmet.

Ridiculous Caloric Intake vs. Inferior Caloric Output

So after my last post - take a wild guess what's been on my mind...

Yeah. I did it.

I went out on a group bike ride Saturday morning. When we got back, it was lunchtime. And, of course, I was hungry. I pack up my bike and head home thinking I'll stop and get a Chik-Fil-A Chargrilled Chicken Sanwich (270 calories, 3.5g of fat. The regular sandwich? 410 calories, 16g of fat). It's only slightly out of the way - and now that gas is $4/gal I try to consolidate as many trips out as possible.

Then I remembered - I pass a Hardee's on the way home!!!! That was a sign, bitches!!!!!!!!

I get the burger, bring it home, let the dogs out, (left the bike in the car - it's called prioritizing) and set myself up in front of the TV with the recording of CSI that I missed on Thursday night.

It was wonderful. I ate slow - I tasted - I ate half (I can learn a lesson or two).

No regrets - until today. Don't ask me why but I looked up the calories:

"12. Worst Burger
Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger 1,520 calories 111 g fat Carl's brags about this, but also provides convenient nutrition info on its Web site —so ignorance is no excuse for eating it.A Simple Solution: The Low Carb Six Dollar Burger has just 490 calories. "

So now take a wild guess what I won't be ingesting again for a very long time...

The Six Dollar Burger & Meat Sweats

O. M. G.

So I was over at Moufflet's today... and read the post about the $6 burger. Those of you on the west side of the country may be familiar with this delicious-ness at Carl's Junior, but here on the east coast - it Hardees where this monster of a burger resides.

Holy crap. This burger is the tastiest, messiest, most memorable burger I have ever eaten. I first had one years ago after watching my brother-in-law try to eat an entire burger in one sitting. He went as far down that road as he could and I remember his face... he had the look of extreme pleasure and extreme pain at the same time.

I had to try one.

When I got home, I went out and got one for myself. I remember getting home and drawing the blinds (I'm sorta a secret eater), turning on the TV and opening the box. The burger is also half-wrapped inside the box. I didn't realize that the beautiful presentation was also functional - it keeps the burger together. YES - it's THAT messy!

The first bite was marvelous!! I reached back in memory to try to think of any other burger I'd consumed in my life that was half as good... nothing. The more you get into it, the messier it gets. But you can't stop picking it up - it's so good!

My problem - a little after I'm halfway through... I'm already full. And this is not a "full" that you can ignore. This is FULL - "no-more-room-at-the-inn" FULL. THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM!! The burger is so good that you don't want to stop eating. I mean, it's not gonna be as good if you wrap it and try to go back to it later!! But there is absolutely NO WAY that I'm gonna throw food away! Especially when it's still edible (and this is not just edible!)!

So I forged ahead and took another bite. I chewed slowly to try to let my mouth catch up with the digestion going on in my gullet. I swallowed and took another bite, and another...

I get to where there are only 2 good bites left - I can see the finish line - I'm almost there!! Then I start to get this really weird feeling. This is a feeling I usually associate with being sick with the flu or way too drunk to still be standing. But I don't quite understand it because I FEEL GOOD!

**cue the "meat sweats" **

I find myself running to the bathroom and immediately throwing up. I'm glad my body reacted correctly because my mind didn't catch up until the act was over. I honestly had to sit down and replay what had just happened. ("Had I really just thrown up because my belly was over full?? Was there actually a point where your belly physically fills up!??)

Every other time I've thrown up, it's a situation that gets attached to a particular food or smell or taste. And from then on, there is not even a thought that is given to that particualar item. Because then would come the nausea.

Forunately this time - there was happiness associated with the regurgitation. I honestly felt better. The meat sweats subsided, the clouds parted and the angels sang.

I can still eat a $6 burger. I just stop after half. It's really not as bad as I thought to come back to it when I get hungry later.

And folks, this is the second of two such stories in my life. I'll have to save the other story for another day.

It's a GIRL!!!

Holy crap. So I was wrong about those "predictions" I listed below... But 1.5 out of 4 isn't bad:

• We have not yet been let out of our Gold's Gym contract. Not that we haven't tried!! We've followed every channel that we were told to... to no avail. Not even any correspondance! So, the next step is going to have to involve talking at a volume considered annoying at the counter at Gold's until they let us out of our contract.


• I do have a new 20-week ultrasound!! But it's not a boy... so we're just going to have to wait to see if she's a tomboy... Hannah Ray. I know it's kind of country sounding but I just know it fits. Hannah is my sister's choice for a name and Ray comes from my brother-in-law's grandmother. This woman was amazing - she was the first female sheriff for the county that my brother-in-law grew up in. I met her a couple of times - and she was such an incredible person. This woman knew which battles to fight and which ones to let slide by. I'm always in awe of those who have figured this out.


• No new accounting person yet BUT we do have 2 interviews this week. I'm just going to have to wait and see... I hate this part.


• Getting my hair done every morning in 25 minutes. Which, even though it is under 30 minutes, doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment. Guess I need to be more specific.

To my dear Hannah Ray - I hope you pick up those awesome qualities from your great-grandmother!! But in case you are ruled by your sign (Cancer - due date July 8th) you have the potential for a lifetime on an emotional rollercoaster. I know all about it (birthday: July 20th) and I am getting a handle on these things called "feelings". I think I can help. Don't ever count me out.

I love you already and I can't wait to meet you!

Ummmm... 2008? Already??

Uh, yeaahhhhh. So, I wish I could say that I had a really good reason for no posts since - what does that say down there? November 19th?

Well, my reason is not good. It's work.

Work.

It's all I seem to do. I make a scramble to get there by 9am and then I usually don't leave until 7pm. Thank all things holy that we finally found a new salesperson! Now if only we hadn't gotten rid of our accounting manager... So, now I've picked up doing bookkeeping things as well as all of my other duties.

So, I'm super stressed out and needing to work out. Except now our gym has bought out and closed another gym in town. Their 3-4 locations are now closed and our gym is PACKED at all hours of the day!! My boyfriend and I have gone several times - and we've been shut out every time! One time we ended up walking around the parking lot just to get some cardio!! We've been trying to get out of our contract for weeks now. I've already gone and joined us at another gym in town.

It's just ridiculous. They let NO ONE know what was going to happen. After a couple of visits with no availability to work out, we told an employee that we wanted our contract cancelled. We're told we have to take care of our own membership - all they have to do is provide the machines!!! Well, genius, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!!!!

Well, it is now my position to let you know that GOLD'S GYM can SUCK IT!!!! This is the most cracker jack business that I've ever dealt with. The trainers are heavily involved in drugs and give the worst advice. The management only wants to help you as long as you give them money.

Gold's Gym - watch out for the Better Business Bureau. I'm settin' the watchdogs on you. 'Cause you suck the hairiest and stinkiest of all ballsacks!!!

Next time I post, these things are going to have happened:

• Gold's Gym lets us out of our contract. And does not charge us the $150 fee for breaking contract. And also doesn't make us pay for any remaining time on the contract.
• My sister is going to have a new 20-week ultrasound picture for me to post. And I'm going to know the sex of the baby!!! (it's a boy by the way - or a tomboy...)
• We have a new accounting person in our office who has the knowledge, background, puzzle-solving skills and desire for more to do that will give him/her the ability to move up quickly.
• I can fix my hair in my new haircut every morning in under 30 minutes.

Unless, of course, those who are out to steal my positive attitude find me and push me to my limits!!!! Then, I'll just have to bitch about them to someone.... You guys are so lucky to be my someone!

6mm Rice Shaped Niece/Nephew

Here it is folks!!! The first of many - I'm sure - sonogram pictures of my new niece/nephew.

I cannot wait to meet this little bundle of terror. I'm so sure that this one is going to be one of the most rambunctious people on the planet.... get ready Mom and Pops!

There's a girl in my office that's pretty intuitive when it comes to babies and pregnancy. She said that she thinks this baby is either going to be a boy or a very active girl. HA! Kinda goes with my thoughts on this too.

The other thing is that this baby is due on July 8th. Being of the Cancer sign myself, I know that this baby is in for one wild rollercoaster ride on the "feelings" train. I'm there for ya kid. You can come to me when Mom and Pops just don't get it - I probably will....

Listen up, Rice-kid, I love you already but you've GOT to stop making your Mom so nauseous. She's really feeling awful - all day every day. So just let up a bit... I'll pay you back later, believe me!

I love you!!!!

Auntie J Is In The House!!!

Okay everyone.... hold on to your hats - I've got exciting news....

It's actually the most exciting news I've EVER had to share -

MY SISTER IS PREGNANT!!!!


I'M AN AUNT!!!!!!!!

I swear I cannot wait until she has this baby. I am so excited....

I'll post more about it later - but I just HAD to let you know!!

An Open Letter To Flight Attendants

I think a new amendment should be added to the flight attendants' constitution.... If you are the attendant designated to do the pre-flight safety announcement - YOU MUST BE FUNNY.

We all know the spiel and it's boring.

We all need a good laugh right before take-off. If we aren't the person that's white-knuckling the armrest then that person is sitting right next to us. This person needs the benefit of laughter more than anyone else on the plane.

And for those of us that are experienced traveleres, we appreciate a good laugh. We've had to suffer through the same old crap flight after flight. Put some life into those old tired lines.

And how could you not benefit from laughter? Your audience is captive!! Take full advantage of the fact that we can't escape. Yeah, sure - some of us are listening to music instead of you. But YOU KNOW that when we see others laughing, we're going to pull those headphones off to find out what's gong on. And, I promise, we will laugh out loud.

Here's an example (just listen to the audio):


via videosift.com

We want it bad.

Real bad. (Disregard the horrible grammar....)

Halloween Blood Drive

Hiya blog world....

Just a reminder that tomorrow is Halloween - and what better time to GIVE BLOOD!??! I mean, seriously people. Give blood on Halloween if on no other day of the year!! You're actually encouraged to eat cookies and candy and have a soda afterwards!

Just FYI, here are some of the criteria you have to meet in order to donate:

• You must be healthy ("Healthy" means that you feel well and can perform normal activities.)
• You must be at least 17 years old or 16 years old if allowed by state law.
• You must weigh at least 110 pounds.
• You must not have donated blood in the last 8 weeks (56 days) or a donation of double red cells in the last 16 weeks (111 days).

There are other criteria and you can read about them here....

Happy bloodletting everyone!!! Help save lives!!

No I'm Not Dead.... Yet

Okaaaaayyyyyyy.


No post since July.


And I'm still allowed to sign in.... thanks for not throwing me out yet, Blogger.


Though I have to say I'm ashamed of myself. I've had so much to write about too!! Let's see - what's happened since July.....


I shared my 35th birthday with my boyfriend (who turned 37 on the same day!) by having a huge party at our place!! So many people came - even my parents and sisters!! I was a very happy gal!!


Then, at the beginning of August, I went to the beach with my sister, her husband and their best friends. Though stitches were involved (by a surfboard to my brother-in-law's head) the week turned out great!!


I'm such a lucky girl!!! Then, I got to goto the beach with my two best beach friends!!! We go to a beach in NC on the same week every year. And this year we figured we've been doing this for at least the last 8 years!! Those boys make beach life so relaxing and restful. Always fun with dogs, stacks of good magazines and fantastic food - Frank is the BEST cook!!! But Frank was not going to cook every night this year so I was given a night where dinner was all mine!! And for not being a very knowledgable cook, I think I managed to pull of a very tasty seared tuna with a thai basil "salsa" on the top. The sweet potato fries with soy-ginger dipping sauce turned out pretty good too!


In September, I met my boyfriend out in California... my first trip to the west coast!! (Look ==>> the beau and I on Lombard!!) And I have to say thank you to everyone in San Francisco and Santa Cruz for being the best people to spend travel time around! We ended up having so much fun in San Francisco that we spent 2 days there. And then Santa Cruz, what a beauty!! I caught my first wave all by myself there!!! I'll never forget you O'Neill's @ Pleasure Point!!


Now, my boyfriend wants to move to California... we'll see.


At the beginning of October, I went up to my sister's place in Richmond, VA. Now, Halloween around those parts is an endeared time of year - as it should be. They produce the final scene on Richmond's Haunted Hayride. It's called Joe's Barbeque - by day it looks kinda pitiful. But as soon as the sun goes down, those woods get spooky. I watched them put on makeup and costumes, set up the scene and talk about the night before. I have to say I got a bit nervous when the first wagon was rolling up. But man, was that a hoot!! I'll explain the scene later with pictures...


But let me take a second here to say - if you EVER get the chance to watch a haunted house from behind the scenes - DO IT. It took me hours to stop laughing.


Now, my boyfriend has been trying to teach me the finer points of mountain biking. And as crappy a coach he was at surfing, he is completely the opposite at this. He's fantastic!! And I know I bitch a bit when I can't find a way to do what he tells me to as soon as he says it... but he doesn't get mad!! I'm having a blast - even though I'm limping from all the bruises at the moment. We went to DuPont State Forest this weekend and I bit the dirt so bad that I've got two solid bumps on my right leg with some nice dark purple bruising around them (I'll see if I can get some pictures...) and a nice cut from my pedal slamming into my left shin. Quite a walking freakshow I am at the moment. But the best part is that he says he's impressed. Impressed by how fast I'm picking this up, how I'm a workhorse at climbing, at how hard I'll work after a spill... And the thing that makes that comment the most impressive to me is not that he used to race but that he said it at all. I love him.


We'll be going to Tsali to ride some trails in a two weekends.... I just hope I can get this heap of bones and bruises on a bike by then.


Anyway, lunch is over and it's back to work.... I'll try to post some pictures soon! I've missed you guys!!

Le Tour - Stage 15

And by the way - it looks like Disovery Channel Team is about to drop Levi as their lead rider and focus on Alberto Contador instead. I'm all for this - I just wish Big George Hincapie was doing better so he could finally get his time in the spotlight.

GO BIG GEORGE!!!!

A Notice To All Spoiled Brats

OK - so, today's rant.....

WTF IS WRONG WITH ALL OF THESE STUPID YOUNG HOLLYWOOD HOES!????!!!!???

I mean - yesterday Lindsay Lohan (henseforth known as L.Lo.) turns herself in for her drunken car wreckage that put her in rehab and she must not have gotten enough love down at the LAPD because today we find out that L.Lo. was arrested last night for drunk driving. (mugshot, right.) Not only that - but they found cocaine in her pocket...

I mean what the hell kind of ridiculous facility was it that she called REHAB? I'm beginning to think that all they did in there was stroke her hair everyday and feed her cookies. That's why she voluntarily stayed for 45 days. Who wouldn't?

The rehab she needs.... jailtime in genpop. This girl better find her ass in a jail cell soon. She's shown that she doesn't know what's good for her so I'm here to tell her... Just like everyone else in this country, if you're going to do the crime, you've got to do the time. C'mon down here and let me take you to a backwoods police dept... Better yet, I wish she and her stupid troop of trogloditic yahoos would go to Thailand on vacation and pull this kind of crap. It'd be a dream come true to see if L.Lo. survives in a facility like the one in the movie Brokedown Palace.

**deep breath**

I don't know why I bother to look for this "news". And when I find it, I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. I'm wanting to go and punch this stupid waste of blood and "brains" right in her cake-hole. And I'm not really of a violent nature. But she'd be a great dummy to practice jiu-jitsu moves on.

(I just had a lovely daydream where I have her in an armbar and the bone snaps amid her screams. I look at her, shrug my shoulders and with a sheepish look on my face I say, "You didn't tap.")

NutmegNine[Blog]: Tour de France Stage 8: "Borat" silences Liggett and Sherwen

NutmegNine[Blog]: Tour de France Stage 8: "Borat" silences Liggett and Sherwen#links

Okay - so the Tour de France started last week... I don't normally watch as much as I have been watching this year. But, I guess when you live with your cycling boyfriend and you only have one TV, it's a "given" that daily coverage is going to be watched.

I've actually been having a good time watching this year. But I have to say that the best part - aside from any breakaway action - has to be the comments from the main two commentators, Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen...

Today, though, the award for capturing my attention goes to "Borat". He actually came out to the race in his favorite yellow outfit to show his support for the riders.

I have to give props to a fellow Greensborian for being the first person I found on the Google to post the picture.

NutmegNine - you rock!!

The Ramblings of a Sassy Blonde: The Wisdom Of The Universe

The Ramblings of a Sassy Blonde: The Wisdom Of The Universe#links

Can I say how distraught I am about Sassy not getting the new position at the new school?? I was really looking forward to the hilariously transcribed interactions with new assclown teachers who were going to put the speedbumps in her raceday.

I love reading your blog, Sassy!! And I hope this year is smooth as glass - but still full of good stories!!!

SSSSOOOOOOOOO UNCOOL.

And yes, I'm referring to myself.....

I saw this link over at Sassy's page and thought I'd give it a go.

How disappointing :(

I guess I haven't gotten quite angry enough in any of these postings to cuss as freely as I do in the car.... hmmmmmm...

Guido Tutorial

Hi everyone! I actually had someone tell me the other day that they did not know what a "guido" was.

After picking up my jaw from the floor, I kind of stumbled around with words like "clubbing" "from Jersey" "tan" "gel-spiked hair"....

And then I go to my brother-in-law's live journal page and beheld the most perfect picture of "How to Build Your Own Guido". And with great pleasure I provide to you....

(click picture to enlarge)

Where Does the Law Stop and Lawlessness Begin?

Why are cops the absolute WORST drivers out on the road? I don't get it. I was on the way home from work yesterday when I saw one of North Carolina's keepers-of-justice in a big damn hurry. Now, I cannot stand people who are too lazy to use a turn signal anyway.... (It's called a signal for a reason - I need to know what kind of crazy stunt you're going to pull BEFORE you do it.) BUT this guy was crazily switching lanes trying to get out ahead of the group he was stuck in.

Isn't this why the police cars are equipped with lights and sirens? I mean, I saw the lights attached to the top of his car.... was there a short to every single light on his car? Doubt it.

I think he's one of those asshats (thanks for the word Katherine!) who powertrips on his badge. You know, the tough guys who try to intimidate you the second they pull you over. All they've done is, say, pulled you over for speeding. But they're talking to you like you're a serial killer on the Most Wanted List.

So, not only was he a signal-less driver, he was also SPEEDING!!! He finally got out of the geriatric group of drivers we were in and he took off like Speed Racer!!

So, let me get this straight - the people who are designated to uphold laws are allowed to break the same laws?? How is this supposed to be fair?

From now on, I'm going to slap any kid who says that a cop is his/her hero. Hard.