NO REGRETS!!

I was so tired that I almost didn't go to this show, but man, am I glad I changed my mind about going... HELMET was awesome!!!

Now, I know that Helmet isn't a well-known band by today's music listeners. But man, do they still have it. I first saw them on the campus of Virginia Tech in 1992/1993. They opened for Faith No More (an abomination) - the majority of people who attended were there for Helmet. I always loved their lyrics and unique sound. It was heavy but a little experimental - and I loved any new music with a twist or quirk that separated them from the rest.

I remember being excited. I remember wondering why the guitarist didn't turn around and face the crowd. I remember being lifted yet annoyed when they stopped playing. And I remember being fully let down by Faith No More.

All these great memories pulled me back to see them over a week ago at Volume 11 in Raleigh, NC. The show was incredible! And even though there's only one original member in the band - the songs ROCKED! And even better - Page Hamilton is actually a pretty nice guy. The venue wasn't huge, but is really neat - only metal groups are invited to play - and after the show, the guys shook hands and talked with anyone who stayed behind. Just regular ordinary "Joes" who happen to be fantastic musicians.

The only time I was disappointed was when I got to work the next day and started to talk about the show to the new girl - who is a HUGE Tool fan...

... and she did not know who they were!!!

Does this make me old?? Dear God - knowing who Helmet is actually dates me? That one line from her mouth actually hit me in the face like a ton of college yearbooks. That said - I've figured out what you young-uns are missing from your lives. It's called Helmet.

Ridiculous Caloric Intake vs. Inferior Caloric Output

So after my last post - take a wild guess what's been on my mind...

Yeah. I did it.

I went out on a group bike ride Saturday morning. When we got back, it was lunchtime. And, of course, I was hungry. I pack up my bike and head home thinking I'll stop and get a Chik-Fil-A Chargrilled Chicken Sanwich (270 calories, 3.5g of fat. The regular sandwich? 410 calories, 16g of fat). It's only slightly out of the way - and now that gas is $4/gal I try to consolidate as many trips out as possible.

Then I remembered - I pass a Hardee's on the way home!!!! That was a sign, bitches!!!!!!!!

I get the burger, bring it home, let the dogs out, (left the bike in the car - it's called prioritizing) and set myself up in front of the TV with the recording of CSI that I missed on Thursday night.

It was wonderful. I ate slow - I tasted - I ate half (I can learn a lesson or two).

No regrets - until today. Don't ask me why but I looked up the calories:

"12. Worst Burger
Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger 1,520 calories 111 g fat Carl's brags about this, but also provides convenient nutrition info on its Web site —so ignorance is no excuse for eating it.A Simple Solution: The Low Carb Six Dollar Burger has just 490 calories. "

So now take a wild guess what I won't be ingesting again for a very long time...

The Six Dollar Burger & Meat Sweats

O. M. G.

So I was over at Moufflet's today... and read the post about the $6 burger. Those of you on the west side of the country may be familiar with this delicious-ness at Carl's Junior, but here on the east coast - it Hardees where this monster of a burger resides.

Holy crap. This burger is the tastiest, messiest, most memorable burger I have ever eaten. I first had one years ago after watching my brother-in-law try to eat an entire burger in one sitting. He went as far down that road as he could and I remember his face... he had the look of extreme pleasure and extreme pain at the same time.

I had to try one.

When I got home, I went out and got one for myself. I remember getting home and drawing the blinds (I'm sorta a secret eater), turning on the TV and opening the box. The burger is also half-wrapped inside the box. I didn't realize that the beautiful presentation was also functional - it keeps the burger together. YES - it's THAT messy!

The first bite was marvelous!! I reached back in memory to try to think of any other burger I'd consumed in my life that was half as good... nothing. The more you get into it, the messier it gets. But you can't stop picking it up - it's so good!

My problem - a little after I'm halfway through... I'm already full. And this is not a "full" that you can ignore. This is FULL - "no-more-room-at-the-inn" FULL. THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM!! The burger is so good that you don't want to stop eating. I mean, it's not gonna be as good if you wrap it and try to go back to it later!! But there is absolutely NO WAY that I'm gonna throw food away! Especially when it's still edible (and this is not just edible!)!

So I forged ahead and took another bite. I chewed slowly to try to let my mouth catch up with the digestion going on in my gullet. I swallowed and took another bite, and another...

I get to where there are only 2 good bites left - I can see the finish line - I'm almost there!! Then I start to get this really weird feeling. This is a feeling I usually associate with being sick with the flu or way too drunk to still be standing. But I don't quite understand it because I FEEL GOOD!

**cue the "meat sweats" **

I find myself running to the bathroom and immediately throwing up. I'm glad my body reacted correctly because my mind didn't catch up until the act was over. I honestly had to sit down and replay what had just happened. ("Had I really just thrown up because my belly was over full?? Was there actually a point where your belly physically fills up!??)

Every other time I've thrown up, it's a situation that gets attached to a particular food or smell or taste. And from then on, there is not even a thought that is given to that particualar item. Because then would come the nausea.

Forunately this time - there was happiness associated with the regurgitation. I honestly felt better. The meat sweats subsided, the clouds parted and the angels sang.

I can still eat a $6 burger. I just stop after half. It's really not as bad as I thought to come back to it when I get hungry later.

And folks, this is the second of two such stories in my life. I'll have to save the other story for another day.