The Six Dollar Burger & Meat Sweats

O. M. G.

So I was over at Moufflet's today... and read the post about the $6 burger. Those of you on the west side of the country may be familiar with this delicious-ness at Carl's Junior, but here on the east coast - it Hardees where this monster of a burger resides.

Holy crap. This burger is the tastiest, messiest, most memorable burger I have ever eaten. I first had one years ago after watching my brother-in-law try to eat an entire burger in one sitting. He went as far down that road as he could and I remember his face... he had the look of extreme pleasure and extreme pain at the same time.

I had to try one.

When I got home, I went out and got one for myself. I remember getting home and drawing the blinds (I'm sorta a secret eater), turning on the TV and opening the box. The burger is also half-wrapped inside the box. I didn't realize that the beautiful presentation was also functional - it keeps the burger together. YES - it's THAT messy!

The first bite was marvelous!! I reached back in memory to try to think of any other burger I'd consumed in my life that was half as good... nothing. The more you get into it, the messier it gets. But you can't stop picking it up - it's so good!

My problem - a little after I'm halfway through... I'm already full. And this is not a "full" that you can ignore. This is FULL - "no-more-room-at-the-inn" FULL. THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM!! The burger is so good that you don't want to stop eating. I mean, it's not gonna be as good if you wrap it and try to go back to it later!! But there is absolutely NO WAY that I'm gonna throw food away! Especially when it's still edible (and this is not just edible!)!

So I forged ahead and took another bite. I chewed slowly to try to let my mouth catch up with the digestion going on in my gullet. I swallowed and took another bite, and another...

I get to where there are only 2 good bites left - I can see the finish line - I'm almost there!! Then I start to get this really weird feeling. This is a feeling I usually associate with being sick with the flu or way too drunk to still be standing. But I don't quite understand it because I FEEL GOOD!

**cue the "meat sweats" **

I find myself running to the bathroom and immediately throwing up. I'm glad my body reacted correctly because my mind didn't catch up until the act was over. I honestly had to sit down and replay what had just happened. ("Had I really just thrown up because my belly was over full?? Was there actually a point where your belly physically fills up!??)

Every other time I've thrown up, it's a situation that gets attached to a particular food or smell or taste. And from then on, there is not even a thought that is given to that particualar item. Because then would come the nausea.

Forunately this time - there was happiness associated with the regurgitation. I honestly felt better. The meat sweats subsided, the clouds parted and the angels sang.

I can still eat a $6 burger. I just stop after half. It's really not as bad as I thought to come back to it when I get hungry later.

And folks, this is the second of two such stories in my life. I'll have to save the other story for another day.